Amidst the craze of Barbie-core, the reclamation of girlhood, and coquette-inspired trends, a deeper more ravishing identity emerges to the surface — Women proudly and openly being sapphic. The lines of love and attraction are blurred, the number of bi-curious women is increasing, and the stereotypes of what a lesbian woman “could” or “should” look like are dissipating. Societal perceptions of lesbianism are being overhauled to open the minds and hearts of many to embrace their love- and themselves- without shame. So much so, that even straight women are attempting to share the spotlight, with one creator even claiming to be “culturally queer” by, essentially, associating with other queer people and “trying to be queer, but can’t.” I mean, if people are so desperately claiming to be queer adjacent, then there must be a significant shift in the tides!
Almost 10 years after same-sex marriage became legal in the United States, wlw are finally having their moment. Much of the macro-level efforts by the media over the years have been adding building blocks to the representation of gay men, leading to generally more acceptance and normalization. However, sapphic women have remained largely misunderstood, underrepresented, and frankly overlooked.
Due in large part to the shifts within style trends leaning into less gender-conforming fashion, style traits that once identified queer women are now being adopted by all women and even within men’s fashion. Major milestones in fashion, media, and music have occurred over the past decade, pushing the work forward bit by bit to get us to a more open and accepting mindset.
Thankfully, due to the rising popularity of women in pop music singing about being gay, lesbians are finally in the forefront in an appreciative way. Chappell Roan, Renee Rapp, and even Billie Eilish are making enough noise to be heard across the mainstream, despite the fact that queer women of color have been making music about loving women and being with a woman long before these individuals’ claim to fame. It’s been a long time coming for sapphic women, but this just might be our big break.
While larger macro trends of girlhood and femininity are pushing the capitalism machine along, behind the scenes, women are engaging in meaningful discourse on social media that allows them to be connected to and explore within the wlw community. Proudly embodying the identity of a lesbian is far from easy, with most of society pressuring patriarchal expectations onto women and othering them if they don’t proudly choose a man. Thankfully, in large part to our interconnectedness on TikTok, wlw have been able to come together and engage in more discourse within their broader community, freely. Women are able to share their stories about how they found out they are a lesbian, how they are working to love themselves / their identity and work through the internalized shame, and feel seen with relevant humor related to their shared experiences.
More open discourse about what others went through and have been thinking about along their own journey of understanding their sexual identity melts the ice that previously restricted the topic. Official reading materials, like the lesbian master doc, a comprehensive resource that can aid in the self reflection & discovery process when a woman thinks she might be a lesbian / bisexual / pansexual but isn’t sure, has been a backbone to queer education & understanding for women. No one really lays out clearly how what you may be feeling isn’t actual attraction, but rather shame and societal expectations imprinted onto you, yet the master doc does and has provided many women with relief.
Love and attraction are already confusing enough as is, but the added layer of uncertainty or doubt about your sexuality only makes it worse. To be a woman loving woman is not new by any means, but it is refreshing to experience a strong sense of ‘IDGAF’ across society right now and see women living their truth [publicly] with pride.
THE IDENTITY CRISIS 